…and the rollercoaster

It’s funny. I always think positively, and then I feel like I’ve been slammed with depression. It’s frustrating and exhausting.

Do you feel like you are constantly having crazy mood changes? I feel like I can’t even get a handle on where I am most days. I do know that I am lonely. You never realize how much you become so comfortable with having someone to share your day with. I certainly took it for granted, though if I were being honest, he obviously took me for granted. I miss the daily sharing and knowing that I had someone to watch my back. However, what is so disturbing and such a mindfuck is that I actually didn’t have him watching my back. I mean, in the end, he stabbed me in it. It still takes my breath away.

I am sitting here just accepting that this is where I am right now. Right now, I am sad and grateful for small things. Right now, I am finally taking small steps forward. Right now, I am grieving for the loss of my marriage and for my kids’ pain at our upcoming divorce. Right now, I am lonely and wonder if I will ever be able to trust again.

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1 Response to …and the rollercoaster

  1. horsesrcumin says:

    The answer is yes. Absolutely. I thought Rog was my best friend in the world. I thought we were super close. I hear you xxx


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